Marty’s favorite pen has been a Viagra promotion pen she lifted from a hospital desk last winter. It writes nice. It looks nice. It says Viagra down the whole length of one side.

Marty thought she couldn’t like a pen more until this week when the mailman brought us the UGLEE Pen - ‘UG’ standing for Ultimate Grip and ‘Lee’ for the physician who spent eight years obsessing over the pen’s design.

Most pens must be gripped a specific way, with a specific amount of tension, which eventually makes your hand feel crampy. (In Marty’s case, she holds a pen too tightly, which means cramps after about five minutes.)

Not so with the UGLEE Pen - which is quite homely. With the UGLEE Pen, you pick it up and it sort of sticks to your fingers without being sticky. It’s very comfortable and we’ll be buying more.

Dr. Lee, who has a BS in Molecular Biophysics and Biochemistry from Yale and a medical degree from Stanford University School of Medicine, has this info-filled Web site and several videos, including this one, which explains the thinking behind his pen and how it works.

He’s also handsome, which always helps, and so we have a crush on Dr. Lee, though he’s already told us via e-mail that he has a wonderful wife and his only mistress - now and forever amen - is his pen - remnants and prototypes of which litter his garage.

Eds. Note: Marty only lifts “free” pens. She cannot recollect every knowingly stealing a pen somebody bought, though being a Pen Klepto of long standing it’s entirely possible she has and just can’t remember.